That was the finding of a recent survey in which a total of 8 per cent of 3,200 couples questioned said they would definitely change their spouse if they could turn back time. A further 34 per cent gave ambiguous answers such as ‘I am not sure' or ‘maybe.'

"The results are not surprising. Marriage is rarely the smooth, sweet ride or eternal romance that newly-weds anticipate," said Xu Anqi, an official with Shanghai Academy of Social Sciences which conducted the survey into the quality of Chinese married life, the first time Chinese social scientists have researched the topic.

"The overall results of the survey suggest that the majority of Chinese couples enjoy a married life of only medium happiness," said Xu.

About 75 per cent of couples who responded to the survey said that married life afforded them a medium degree of satisfaction while 22 per cent conceded their marriages were of "low quality."

"Respondents claiming they were very happy with their married life accounted for only a very small part, just 3 per cent," added Xu.

Xu believes the fact that a large part of the couples questioned were middle-aged and had been joined in matrimony in the pre-1980s era of the "cultural revolution" (1966-76) may be a major reason for the high incidence of unhappiness.

The pre-1980s period in China was one in which heterosexual union, even in marriage, still carried many taboos, and a lot of marriages were arranged through family members.

Xu suggests the values of the time, including the traditional notion that contact between the opposite sexes should be minimized, as well as the characteristically introverted personality of Chinese people, limited the scope for individual choice in the subject of a marriage partner.

About two thirds of those questioned said they had married people they had met through a matchmaker, mutual friends or relatives, according to Xu.

"Only after a period of living together did some couples discover that they were not very well suited to one another," said Xu.

One middle-aged female respondent who asked not to be named said she had married her husband only 4 months after they made each other's acquaintance through a matchmaker.

"I decided to marry him because my parents and friends advised me that we were well matched in social class, educational background and looks," she said.

But the woman said problems soon surfaced in their marriage. While she liked peace and a quiet life, her husband was a more raucous man who liked to invite friends home for big feasts on a regular basis. The woman said it was important to her to keep her home clean and tidy, but her husband found housework boring and cared little for keeping their place neat. She said they tended to quarrel a lot over seemingly small things, like a cigarette butt left on the floor or being late to visit parents-in-law.

"It became so bad that we could not even bear to look at each other. Sometimes I preferred to talk to a stranger rather than face my husband," she said. "I really didn't imagine before marrying him that he could have such a bad temperament."

Respondents to the survey ranked housework and education of children as the top causes of disagreement.

Friction between couples over issues of housework and educating their children accounted for 52 per cent and 38 per cent of arguments, according to the survey.

"Though couples will admit to problems in their marriages, Chinese people are still reluctant to opt for divorce," said Xu.

A long-lasting marriage is traditionally highly-valued in Chinese society. A couple who expresses a desire to divorce can expect discouragement from both employers and officials in their residential area.

But Xu believes the results of the survey overwhelmingly suggest "People should shift their focus from keeping a marriage together at all costs, to questioning how much fulfilment the partnership can really offer to each individual."