If a man in Shanghai is going to propose to his girlfriend, the most important thing he should prepare is not a candle lighted dinner, a bunch of roses or a diamond ring - these are just opening bars of a long lasting concert.

The grand finale should be something that will make the woman hold her breath and even move her to tears. What kind of thing has such magic? If our male readers ask their girlfriends, they should expect the answer: "a key" that opens the door of an apartment in the city.

Many young men might be knocked back by my words, but this requirement has come into favour among Shanghai women. One of my friends once said seriously that her Mr Right must own an apartment. She especially stressed that the house should not be on mortgage. This may be labelled as more solid evidence that Shanghai women are shrewd and demanding. But I think the blame should not be put on the women's part. Reality has pushed many women to make such a choice.

The price of real estate in Shanghai has rocketed dramatically lately. The prices of some houses, especially in the downtown area, have tripled and even quadrupled. No wonder the possession of an apartment has become the most appealing criterion for a young man to prove his ability and economic status.

Many women fear that paying back loans for expensive houses will be a heavy economic burden for them for the years to come. Owning a house is the most effective way for a young man to offer his beloved one a feeling of security.

Of course not every man can meet this requirement. If we make a calculation using some publicized statistics, the result could be so frustrating that most of the men in Shanghai will be excluded by the list. The average price of an apartment in the city is about 8,000 yuan (US$960) per square metre, and this is not the price in the downtown or some high-level neighbourhoods. Thus, a 100-square-metre two-bedroom apartment will cost about 800,000 yuan (US$96,000). Taking into consideration the average income of local people, which is 40,000 yuan (US$4,800) per year, it would take at least 20 years to pay for a house, provided they use all their money for housing and pay no interest at all, which is impossible.

In this way, what's the meaning of life itself? To exert yourself every workday and lug the pack heavy with loans in order to get the key to a door in this city? After 20 or 30 years, when the person finally achieves his goal, will his Cinderella still be waiting for him with her graying hair?

I have witnessed a real story of waiting. Fearing a bubble in the real estate market, a friend of mine, who was going to marry and buy a house hesitated and then determined to wait until the bubble burst. Unfortunately, instead of bursting, the bubble grew even larger over the next few years. What he could afford four years ago is now totally beyond his reach.

The question is: Are we supposed to keep waiting until what has been predicted by some economic professionals finally happens? Are women supposed to keep waiting until their Prince Charming hands them the ring with a shining key attached? Or should everybody wait until houses in Shanghai become warm and habitable places rather than cold items of exchange?