Like almost everyone else, I have been on a shopping spree recently. The shopping experiences were interesting, because I have been treated quite differently. One day I was treated as a middle-aged woman, on another I was called ¡°little girl¡±. It is not that I have dressed differently or worn different make-up. I swear I was even wearing the same clothes on both occasions. Of course as someone in their late 20s, I was indignant when the sales girl said: ¡°Middle-aged people like you always prefer black.¡± Although I liked the black wool coat a lot and wanted to pay for it immediately, I could never buy an item after such an insult.

I did not understand the situation until the other day when a sales woman, apparently in her late thirties, asked: ¡°Little girl, what can I do for you?¡± Yes, yes, it all became clear. Young sales people, probably under 20, had treated me as middle-aged. Initially, I thought maybe it had something to do with their sales skills. But more importantly, everyone has a psychological stance putting the self at the centre of the universe. It is not unusual for people to judge others from their own perspective. To the teenager sales girl, those older than her were already approaching middle-age at least, while to the older one, everyone younger than her was a little girl.

This theory does not only apply to the judgment of age, but to that of many other things. People who save see others as wasteful while people who spend see others as thrifty. People who are in love see the world full of love while people who have broken up recently see the world full of misery. People who are good at directions assume everyone else is an expert at reading maps. The examples can go on and can even be extended to governments. Self-centred countries ask other countries to go along with their approaches to policing the world.

This psychology has affected the objectivity of judgment. The reality is that people and countries are different. If self-centredness prevails among everyone, there cannot be any such thing as understanding and harmony. Therefore it is necessary that you put your feet in others¡¯ shoes before making judgments. If you really understand others¡¯ feelings from their point of view, you¡¯re sure to have different views and to reach a better understanding of others. However, this is more easily said than done. The mistake of the young sales girl will always be repeated.