The news was placed in an unobtrusive corner of a local newspaper. An old professor at Tongji University together with his wife and daughter died in their flat because of a gas leak accident. What struck me most was that they were discovered two days after the accident. In other words, the family's flat was not visited and their absence around the neighbourhood was not noticed for two days.

I guess that is the most distinctive feature of neighbourhood relationships in big cities like Shanghai. Living in apartments, we tend to be cut off from our neighbours and indifferent to each other. The days when our front doors were always open are long gone. People who knock on our doors most are salesmen and saleswomen. As a consequence, a majority of communities in this city are becoming more and more vulnerable to problems such as accidents and crimes.

One cannot help but ask, "How come we have such poor neighbourhoods in this city? We used to have a very good sense of community, didn't we?"

My experience tells me that there are possibly three reasons behind this phenomenon.

First and foremost, mistrust and self-protection are hindering us from communicating with each other. When I first rented a flat after graduation, people in the neighbourhood (especially those "Shanghai aunties") adopted a suspicious and curious attitude towards me. Instead of showing real concern and welcome, they were keen to know my income and marriage status, which made me feel intruded upon. From then on, conversations between those curious neighbours and me became functional rather than relational.

Second of all, our busy, fast-paced lives leave us little time to pay attention to neighbours. What people who often work overtime want to do most after work is close the door and take a good rest.

Last but not least, the mobility of people makes it difficult to get to know neighbours. In my case, I have moved four times over the last two years. It is very hard to build up good relationships with neighbours in such a short period.

However, as the old saying goes, "Better a neighbour nearby than a brother far away." It is an undeniable fact that we need mutual communication and help in our neighbourhoods. A good neighbourhood can be a blessing to residents and communities at large.

But how can we foster good neighbourhoods? In my opinion, both leadership and participation are critical elements in community development.

In the first place, the leadership of the neighbourhood committees can be improved. Although the neighbourhood committee is not a new concept, it is irrelevant to most residents. All a neighbourhood committee has ever had me do is to fill out a form during the outbreak of SARS. Apart from taking orders from the government, neighbourhood committees might need to be more concerned about linking their activities with the promotion of communication among residents. For example, neighbourhood committees could initiate websites and Internet chat rooms for the community. In doing so, all residents, whether they are busy or not, can find out what is going on in the community and communicate with each other.

Second, residents themselves should develop a sense of community. Generally speaking, people feel more secure with their neighbours when they have a sense of community.

Trust and communication may be two fundamental elements of a sense of community. Trust is the secret to any successful relationship. I am not suggesting we not protect ourselves. Nevertheless, whatever you want someone to do to you, you should also do to them. If you are mistrusting, it is very unlikely that your neighbours can give you trust. Real communication, such as chatting with neighbours, exchanging things, making informal home visits, and asking advice can only happen with trust.

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