Babies born with abnormalities are abandoned at the hospital while their mothers vanish into thin air. Or an infant, perhaps born out of wedlock, is wrapped up in swaddling clothes barely warm enough to withstand the cold, with a note attached indicating the birthdate, and dumped in someone's doorway or in a dustbin. That baby would certainly end up starving or freezing to death if its whimpering were not loud enough to attract the attention of passers-by.

These are the sights with which we have become so familiar that we seldom point the finger at the degradation of parenthood.

Of course, these people may give a thousand reasons to acquit themselves of any accusations. Being in financial straits is most likely the last straw they may clutch at to save themselves from being censured.

But I don't care a straw for their evasive arguments, for from the moment they determined to abandon their babies as if they were some items of lifeless merchandise they have forfeited their own right to being their babies' legitimate parents. The holy appellation of "moms" and "dads" was flushed down the drain the moment they decided to place their babies in a state of uncertainty. Whatever happens to their babies when they grow up will have nothing to do with their biological parents.

I remember reading about an old couple who lived on garbage collecting who had adopted dozens of orphans and teenage tramps, some of them handicapped or mentally retarded. Though they had difficulty scraping a living, they somehow managed to feed, clothe and even send to school their army of poor kids. On the other hand, these children, when they grew up, acknowledged their foster parents as their natural parents, repaying them with such kindness and material benefits as best befitted them.

Please don't make the mistake of thinking the old couple only had eyes on repayment. It was love, boundless love, that drove them to adopt these uncared-for kids.

It is therefore obvious that the linchpin of a harmonious family is nothing but love, the sublime love that transcends ethnicity, blood and the origin of birth.

But, unfortunately, the vice that some of us have been practicing at home has been broadcast abroad and caused quite a stir internationally. ("Chinese girl, American heart", Opinion pages, May 20-26) The baby, which was barely a few weeks old when thrust into the care of a foster centre, has grown into a healthy and chubby five-year-old girl under the parental love of her adopted parents. Her biological parents' request to reclaim their "rights" as parents did not equate with their obligations to love and nurture a defenseless baby.

Whether we call it a cultural difference or not, I give three cheers for the law enforced in Western countries that lays stress on humanitarian values rather than the stereotypes of blood connections when parents skip the compulsory duties imposed by the law of nature.

Starting from this point, I'd like to advise those studying abroad who think themselves savvy enough to adjust to foreign surroundings not to be guilty of any gross behaviour which they think is commonplace at home because it will appear intolerable, offensive and even weird to foreigners.

Put yourself in an average native's shoes and act accordingly. That'll be proof against your being on the wrong track, I believe.

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