"I WOULD like to stay at home if my 'better half' is able to support the family alone," said a local man in his late twenties.

Women talk about quitting jobs and returning home to take care of the family, but the choice is not available to men, he said. "A woman can be viewed as being successful without having a career as long as she has a cozy family and lives a colourful life, but for men, it is impossible."

Also, it has been common for the man to support a family but if a woman supports her husband, the man faces great social pressures.

"Mainly it is she who supports me," said oil painter Gao Yu from Central China's Hubei Province about his wife. Gao, 34, had expected to be able to market his work after three years, so he could survive as a painter. But nine years have passed since then and he still has to rely on his wife and his parents.

Gao majored in science in college but always liked painting. He quit his job in a foreign trading company to study painting in 1995. He stayed in Beijing and then Wuhan in order to improve his painting and finally set up his workshop in his hometown of Yichang, Hubei Province.

Only last year has one of his paintings, which was exhibited in Shanghai, been sold.

The love and trust his wife and parents offer him is so great as to be "almost blind", said the artist.

"I can understand nagging wives," said Gao, recalling the time when he just quit his job and became a full-time house-husband.

"You do the housework because of your love for your spouse. The work may seem trivial. You arrange the home beautifully, you try to cook nice food, and serve it on time. It binds you tightly and you need to give a lot."

"It feels like the so-called 'canary' situation," he said. People used to call women living off men "canaries" as they lived comfortable lives but didn't have the freedom of self-supporting people.

Finally, the anxiety for his own career took over and he left home for professional art training. "It was mainly due to her understanding and support. During all these years, I did basically nothing except painting. My income couldn't even cover my own expenses."

Gao has a two-year-old son, whose birth was "an accident". Gao feels deeply guilty about the boy as he could not do much for him.

In all these years, Gao has produced over 300 paintings. He thought about giving up in frustration. "I am not someone with a strong-character, and I didn't realize how much hardship and competition I was going to face."

Sometimes Gao would think about leaving everything behind to become a monk. But his wife was greatly shocked by such ideas. Having given so much to him, she expected the same spiritual support from him, that is, that he would carry on.

Very often, the family enjoy a painting so much that they argue about the title it should be given. That is a unique spiritual gift Gao gives to his family in return for their long years of support.