It's the Year of the Monkey.

And wouldn't you just know that someone, somewhere would take this wonderful concept from the Chinese zodiac - and all the spirit of fun it typically engenders - and try to ruin it for everybody.

Take the case of the rainbow monkeys of the Forest Safari Park in Shenyang in Northeast China's Liaoning Province.

There, a safari park has already put a stain on the year-long festivities. At least for me.

Someone on the park staff, for some still undetermined boneheaded reason, decided to dye all of the park's monkeys various colours of the rainbow.

Embarrassed as they were, the monkeys at the park are now being crudely shown off - their fur, in some cases, bright red, gold, and, we suppose, green and purple.

Yes, folks, they park staff has made monkeys out of its monkeys.

In fact, a park worker was stupid enough to admit the monkeys knew enough not to go along with this harebrained plan. He told a reporter from the Xinhua News Agency that - the mammals who are closest to us in intelligence - were anything but co-operative when they tried to dolly up their coiffures.

In fact, they put up such a fight the monkeys "had to be anaesthetized first," he said, recalling the chaos before the fur painting.

"They seemed to be surprised at their new strange coats when they woke up. But after a while, they indulged themselves in pleasure," he said.

Of course they did.

That's what monkeys do. Their fur had nothing to do with it.

Yet anaesthetizing an animal is a serious thing. Routinely, cats and dogs and even monkeys who are put under to have surgical procedures don't wake up, despite all the efforts of veterinarians.

Is placing our nearest relatives under heavy sedation so they can have punked-up fur a risk worth taking? I think not.

When this story broke last week, Zhu Chengwei, director of the Shenyang Wild Animal Protection Organization, told journalists that scientific testing should be carried out to see whether the dying was harmful to the animals.

"If it is proved to be maltreating or bullying (the) wild animals, then we will take necessary actions to protect them," Zhu said.

Sounds like Zhu needs to spend more time at the zoo. It's the organizations' job to protect the animals before actions - benign or malicious - are taken against them.

We say leave the precious monkeys alone. Don't subject them to anything else, especially tests or procedures that might further disturb them. Their natural brown fur is good enough.

Professor Liu Mingyu, a zoologist from the Environment and Life Sciences School of Liaoning University, said it was the first time he had seen dyed monkeys. Liu was not certain whether it would hurt them, adding it would depend on the chemical components used in the colouring process.

"As for whether it will hurt their minds, we can observe their reaction after being dyed," Liu said. "Generally speaking, monkeys will jump up and down when they feel excited, but will be in low spirits when they feel upset."

Professor, I don't know about you, but I doubt you can read a monkey's mind.

Song Yanzhu, deputy director of the park's Wild Animal Supervision Department, said the best hair dye "for monkeys" was used and that no lead or other harmful material was contained in it. Monkey hair dye?

"Monkeys have no habit of licking their skin, so they will not mistakenly eat the cream," Song said. "From their reaction after being dyed, they showed no excitement or extraordinarily abnormal emotion."

There you go, another monkey psychiatrist.

Only a local beauty salon manager surnamed Li honestly stated what the others would not: The dye used on the monkeys is a chemical product and it will certainly hurt the apes whether they licked it off or not.

Sometimes it takes a layperson to find common sense.

And, naturally, park officials never could quite come out and flatly admit the truth about why the dye was used.

But an advertising firm employee in Shengyang spoke the truth. Calling the dyed monkeys a "rather original in concept," the staffer said the monkeys and the controversy may draw more visitors to the park and increase its revenues.

Seems that in the Year of the Monkey, a colourful monkey is more popular than a plain, brown monkey.

Never mind that a dyed monkey now, may be a dead monkey later.

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