Can "love" and ping pong co-exist? That's the national crisis facing China at the moment.

The dilemma - or should we say soap opera - is followed with new headlines that the national table tennis coach has now hired a team psychologist to help his star players get over the trauma of losing their teammate "lovers".

Heck, ping pong fans, it was the grinch-who-stole-love who started the whole mess.

Coach Cai Zhenhua kicked three players off the squad - three women and a man - because, as he put it, you have to cut off some branches to save the tree.

The intra-squad romances were affecting the players' performance and training, sources close to the coach were quoted as saying.

Cai allegedly told the team: "This year is an Olympic year. As athletes, you have to make every sacrifice that is required for your team."

He tampered with top players' psyches by issuing a squad-wide ban on "falling in love" before the Olympics later this year.

Cai told the remaining players that the expulsions would give them a chance to correct their behaviour, saying that they were not the only players with a "problem of falling in love", the report said.

Two of the dismissed players were Bai Ying, 19, girlfriend of China's world No.1 player Ma Lin, and Fan Ying, 17, the world No. 20 and girlfriend of world No. 3 Wang Hao, one newspaper report said. There was no mention of Fan being underage for you know what.

The other two were Hou Yingchao, 21, and his girlfriend Li Nan, 21, whom the newspaper described as the world No. 10 and widely believed to be a contender for a medal.

Well, coach, at the risk of getting run out of China, I say you're all wet. Love and ping pong can mix.

I've had approximately 100 matches since arriving here. I'm 1-99. I'd always thought I was pretty good at the game until I played it with Chinese, who are pretty darn good at the game, given that it is the national sport.

My only victory came after a recent date. She's adorable. I felt all those pangs of happiness you feel when the love bells go off. The next day, that action left me ready for some ping pong reactions. I felt my game could finally come together. I was loose and happy.

As I warmed up in the newspaper's lobby, I suddenly found my serve was ready, my spins were spinning just right, my slams were right on target. I felt like Ma Lin himself. I even used the same gestures Ma likes, shooting his fist into the air along his side, and putting the ball in my pocket to wipe the sweat off of it.

I'd drawn a really tough opponent. She looked at me from across the net (well, actually through the net). I knew she was equally as determined as I. I'd heard tremendous things about her from her coaches. They'd been training her for seven years, day after day pouring their love and attention into her nutrition, education, emotional health and well being. She was highly prepared for this day's action.

Suddenly, people who'd sensed this was going to be a big match, began gathering around the table. An important international match was about to begin.

China vs the US. Would the American finally achieve success against a top-notch Chinese woman player?

She started strong. The score was 5-0 before I got over my nervousness. But I pounded back, with some amazing backhands and a forehand slam that actually popped her in the face. She grimaced but was ready to continue after a coach toweled away sweat (or was it tears).

I didn't care. I was wanted to crush her. And I did. The crowd was hostile. They couldn't believe my dogged determination, as I attacked her while she was still weak.

Final score. 11-7.

She ran to her coach's arms, crying like a baby. Well, like a 7-year-old.

Heh heh. 1-99 for old Danny. Score one for the Americans.

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