Reading the many contradicting fashion statements of years gone by makes for some entertainment and a good laugh on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

In the 1960s when baggy pantaloons were de rigueur, it was the incredible "roominess and comfort" that was peddled by the Hardy Amies', the Rudolph Valentinos and their commercial colleagues.

Fashion usually swings between extremes and, as to be expected, next in line were very tight pants.

What about that comfort? I wondered. No, no, the latest tight pants were "like a second skin", very comfortable too and, besides, it showed the "real" you; it revealed the true shape of the legs and was, well, ohhhh soooooh fashionable. Baggy pants were dropped with great haste and many had an awkward time peeling themselves in and out of tight pants. Going to the toilet in them was something to be avoided if at all possible.

Lo and behold, in the 1990s "cargo pants" was what anybody with only an ounce of fashion sense would be wearing. Cargo pants are, as we all know, baggy pants with ugly outside pockets stitched on that look decidedly unfashionable if anything is put inside them.

In the 1980s, I bought at Dunbar Sloanes' antique auction in Wellington, New Zealand, a box with eight gold-rimmed 1920s small lens spectacles. This was at the height of the "enormous spectacles" fashion trend, a la former President Jiang Zemin, who was still wearing them when I saw him last.

I adorned my wife Renee and four kids with yesteryear's antiques and took some A4 sized black and white family photos with them wearing the tiny specs.

"What a joke," everyone exclaimed. "We cannot believe that people were wearing these silly small glasses - hilarious."

Well, yes, except that 99 per cent of all students and a not inconsiderable percentage of adults are wearing the same silly and small spectacle frames in 2004.

Let's have a look at the recent history of hairstyles. In the 1960s which is, of course, long before yours truly was born, "short back and sides" was the proper style, especially for job interviews. In the 70s long hair became fashionable and students and (daring) businessmen were all featuring long hair - shoulder-length if not longer. Boys looked like girls and I guess it was all part of some sexual revolution; it turned many on.

Then, last summer, I came across many students who had completely cut off their beautiful black locks and when I ventured to comment that featuring no hair was actually not a pretty sight I was told by many: "Ah, it's so hot, long hair in summer, short hair is so 'cool' and comfortable."

Frankly, I have never found my luxuriant hair growth hot or bothering in summer but then, tolerance for suffering varies from individual to individual I guess. No doubt, I am the hardy type.

And so it came to pass that my friend Benjamin presented himself at my doorstep last week, featuring a cap, muttering: "May I please wear my cap indoors?" "No Benjamin, we are a bare-headed family indoors and do not tolerate headgear of any description on the premises." "Oh, well," said Benjamin and revealed that, "I have to confess to a terrible deed: I finished my exams and to show that I have cut off my study period and commenced my career, I have shaved off my all my hair as a symbolic break with the past."

Benjamin showed us his bare scalp: it was not a pretty sight and I could barely hold back my tears at the sight of this willful and wanton destruction.

"Benjamin," I managed to say between gasps for air, "your hair made you so attractive, why are you making yourself so ugly? You look like an egg on legs."

It was then revealed that Benjamin was partly following fashion and partly symbolizing the new life that he thought had started.

Some in the "in" crowd now feel a need to pierce and put metal rings and studs in and through every conceivable body part. From earlobes, to whole sides of ears, to noses, to cheeks and even the tongue and lips are not spared.

In another 20 years, of course, we will all laugh about the very silly fashions of the early 2000s but meanwhile many of us have to suffer this visual pollution, not to mention the sheer agony, I imagine, suffered by the hapless followers of fashion.

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