The Pudong district government does not like to do things half-heartedly and good on them.

Within only a few years, many multi-lane tunnels have been "moled" under the mighty Huangpu River from Puxi to Pudong. Mind boggling and beautiful bridges, rivaling any in the world, span the two banks.

The Bund in Puxi has been a major tourist attraction since the early 1900s; so what to counter this in Pudong? Build another one opposite the Bund, of course.

Then plonk a "Oriental Pearl" TV tower, a sort of replica of the one in Berlin, add some pretty startling architecture and, of course, erect the biggest shopping centre in Asia, traverse all this with an eight-lane highway, a sprinkling of skyscrapers, some enormous parks with artificial lakes and, surprise, real ducks and, hey, presto, the multinationals, banks and industrialists move in at breakneck pace.

The first thing most tourists reported when returning from China as recently as five years ago was: "The public toilets in China: atrocious, shocking, repulsive and nauseating."

I am happy, however, to report that all this is history.

Almost everywhere in China, one can now "spend a penny" in comfort and privacy. Naturally, the Pudong boys, had to do one better: They built a five-star PSL (Public Super Loo) next to the TV tower which, for sure, is the epitome of public loos and easily rivals any top-class hotel ablution block.

Marble floors, naturally; but please picture the following scenario: a pleasantly uniformed and smiling lady warmly invites one to enjoy the services on offer from a reception desk decorated with flowers and, most helpfully, provides one with a measure of paper, sufficient to last the entire trip.

Inside, imported electronic self flushing "American Standard" sanitary ware graces the decor. There are ample, clean washbasins, equipped with hot and cold running water and hygienic electric and actually functioning hand dryers. A baby's diaper changing room completes this "poopy palace".

I usually make it a point to frequent this salubrious five-star loo with out of town visitors, many of whom kick and scream that they have no urge at the time, to which I then reply: "You do not have to pee at this Pudong public loo, you just have to savour the experience."

In preparation for Expo 2010, Pudong is now a hive of activity. Underground, some three or so new subway lines are being contructed at breakneck speed. On "terra firma", bicycle lanes are being dug up, roads are widened and the mighty car is taking over.

Statistics have it that bicycles and motorcycles on or near car lanes are a major source of traffic slowdowns and accidents and the nifty Pudong district government, who, as all of you dear readers have come to realize, do not like to things in half measures, and they had the following answer to this: Send 'em onto the footpath (sidewalk for our American clientele).

Well, for yours truly, who is an avid mountain biker, this is an experience to end all experiences. While cars are speeding past at breakneck speeds in the fast lane, we poor cyclists have to fight with pedestrians for space on already overcrowded sidewalks. And come evenings, the fun really starts, when fruit vendors and kebab vendors and bookstalls and shoelace merchants all place their carts at "strategic" locations, creating a funnel which is often no more that half a metre wide.

Has this measure improved my agility? Most definitely.

With months of Pudong sidewalk-ride training under my belt, I can now (almost) turn my mountain bike on a penny, hover and maintain my balance at micro-speeds, nay, even during total standstill and am able to guess with 99 per cent accuracy, which way the pedestrian in front of me is going to weave all over the footpath.

Is it fun for all? No!

For the cyclists and motorcyclists it is hell and for the hapless pedestrians it is worse.

Now then, what is to be done? I recommend that the Pudong authorities at least provide for strictly separate bicycle and pedestrian lanes; kick all the merchants off the sidewalks.

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