Loud conversation and pajamas, local customs are unique, not rude

A man wearing pajamas takes a nap after lunch on the street.

MY FRIEND told me that she saw dozens of European tourists talking and laughing loudly in the metro one morning.

"I thought that foreign people were always well-mannered and never made noise in public places," she said. "Now I discover that we are the same."

I cannot remember when Chinese people started to become concerned with foreigners' opinions of China. It may have begun with the country's opening up, as the frequency of contact with foreigners, especially Western people, increased.

Chinese people are accustomed to loud conversations in restaurants or at other joyful gatherings, but since people have started to say that Western people find this behaviour impolite and ungraceful, some of us have become conscious of it.

In a book by San Mao, a popular writer from Taiwan who had many experiences living abroad, there is a story about the writer's experience with visitors from Taiwan in Europe.

The writer said that her Taiwanese guests talked and sang together in restaurants, embarrassing her. So the writer hoped that all Chinese people who visit Western countries would behave gracefully and focus on the long history and culture of Europe, instead of shopping and taking photographs.

Maybe the writer never saw the same situation as my friend.

Another complaint from foreigners that embarrasses Shanghai people involves residents who wear pajamas in the lanes and the streets.

The local media have published many stories about foreign people's shock at seeing locals wearing pajamas in public. There were stories of women wearing pink pajamas while shopping in the supermarket or strolling along the street.

Actually, there are many things about foreigners' clothing that make Chinese people feel uneasy and strange. For example, why do foreigners, especially women, wear such tight-fitting and revealing clothes? Chinese girls would never be allowed to dress like that, everyone would think of them as indecent.

Many other similar culture gaps can be found between Chinese and Westerners. Chinese people think fresh meat is nutritious, while Western people think killing animals is brutal. Westerners like to buy frozen meat. Westerners like to kiss and hug when they greet, but Chinese people like to shake hands. Even shaking hands is a Western affectation.

"I can't say whose habits are better or more polite, it is just a matter of different cultures that lead to different traditions and lifestyles," said Yu Hai, a professor of sociology at Fudan University.

Speaking loudly is the symbol of authority in China, according to Yu. Chinese people are accustomed to hearing their parents and teachers talk loudly. In addition, if Chinese people go to a restaurant with friends and family members, they are probably celebrating some happy event such as a promotion or family union. Affected by the happy mood, it is common to see people laugh and talk loudly in a restaurant.

"In the past, we never felt unhappy with the noise, on the contrary, we felt it must be a good restaurant with good business," said Sheng Chongming, another middle-aged woman.

As to the pajama wearers, Yu said it is related to Shanghai's previously tight living quarters. People enlarged their living space outside to the lanes or neighbouring areas because their own house were too small.

One thing interesting the sociologist is that the standards for judging among Chinese people, especially the Shanghainese, are becoming more and more Westernized.

Since the New Culture Movement (1919) was launched, Western culture gradually entered China. Chinese people accepted Western style clothes, beer, ballet and technology.

"It's not strange that our ideas would be Westernized more or less," Yu said. "We will judge a thing according to Western standards instead of our own tradition."

"In my opinion, if bad habits are not harmful, such as spiting or jumping the queue, it's not a serious problem to keep tradition," Yu said. "When you are in Rome, do as the Romans do. I think Western people can adjust."