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Roxany, a 22-year-old transvestite who began living as a woman at 15, speaks about the discrimination she has suffered in Panama. |
SHE was beautiful. She was sassy. She was adored.
As Ana Carolina passed through the crowds, high on her carriage of feathers, she waved and danced - Panama City's Carnival queen.
But Ana Carolina was Jorge, and Jorge is gay.
In Panama you can lose your job for being gay. There are no gay lobbyists, no openly gay politicians and no local gay magazines.
In this unashamedly macho society, homophobic music is not uncommon on the radio. Even the gay community has no universally recognized leaders. Gay pride? Out of the question.
Still, as in other years, for a few days this year during Panama's pre-Lenten Carnival, the country's gay men were granted permission to run their own floats and have their own gay Carnival queen.
"Perhaps it's because the straight Carnival queens are so outrageously dressed that we can also take part - dressed in drag," says Jorge, a 23-year-old marketing student. "Whatever the reason, Carnival is the only time that we as Panama's gays can be open about our sexuality."
Following Carnival earlier in February, Panama's gays are able to look back at the festivities as the closest they have come to full acceptance in the celebrations.
"Young people cheered us on the gay parades with a real friendless," says Jorge.
The gay community gained government permission for two other queens in the provinces, aside from Jorge's appearance as Panama City's gay queen.
Roberto, a 28-year-old hairdresser, appeared as the gay queen in the central town of Anton.
"We went to Anton this year because the people there are not anti-gay as in other towns. We were surprisingly well received," says Roberto.
Party over, fun ends
But away from the exuberance of Carnival, being gay in Panama isn't easy.
"I've been beaten up for being gay," says Ruben, a smartly dressed 26-year-old business student. "People insult me when I walk down the street and I've had problems getting part time jobs. Groups such as the Catholic Church think we are immoral and vulgar."
Gay tourists are told to steer clear of Panama.
"If you are a gay traveler looking to spend time in a country that embraces people regardless of their sexual preference, Panama is not the country for you," advises the US-based Lonely Planet guide book.
And besides the fun of dressing up as a woman at Carnival, genuine transvestites in Panama face discrimination, pushed to the edges of society.
"Transvestites know nothing of safe sex because no one wants to talk about it," says Morgan, a 50-year-old heterosexual who saw his transvestite friend Alegria die from AIDS last year. Some 4,000 people currently suffer from the disease in this country of just under 3 million inhabitants.
Roxany, a 22-year-old transvestite who began living as a woman at 15, lives from the $100 a month her boyfriend gives her and the occasional show she does in a nightclub.
"My father nearly beat me to death when I first told him I was a transvestite," she says, wearing a long green summer dress.
Although consensual homosexual relationships between adults are legal, attempts to form legitimate gay organizations in Panama have so far been blocked.
From her small, dank room in the suffocating heat of a Panama City shantytown, Roxany dreams of leaving Panama for Amsterdam.
"There I could be a lady. I wouldn't be constantly humiliated in public like in Panama," she says.
(Agencies via Xinhua)
